Voters of 2020 Prepare for My Election

The year 2020 is the first year I'll be eligible for the office of The President of the United States of America*. But why wait. If there is a groundswell of support for my candidacy we could change the constitution to get me in sooner. I'd much rather be president in 2012, when my favorite parts of the country are still above sea level. Of course mis-interpretation of the constitution is much more profuse than actual amendments. In that case I could land the position of Bush-Family-Member In Chief by 2009 if i nail one of the twins.


In any case, I ought to be your president, and you WANT me to be your Decider in Chief. Here's why:

•You'll go from "Government bad" to "Government good." I believe the government should be benevolent whenever possible and never do anything harmful if it can be helped. Think Asimov's Three Laws of Robotics. The only thing the government can know about you is whatever you share in the deca-annual census provided for by the constitution. It won't lock you up or spy on you or kick sand in your face. On the other hand it will give you everything you need from housing to healthcare to puppies. THat's right! The government will give you puppies! And iPods. Seriously i don't know how people live without those.

•Guns ok if guns point out. The only think I hate more than gun violence is domestic gun violence. I don't mind if people own guns. All for it, but you can't aim it at any living creature within US borders. So basically guns can only be operated US borders or 20 miles of the coast. Sorry Mexicans.

•Good news for Mexicans! Wal*Mart's coming! That's right I say the US should do away with NAFTA and just outright buy Mexico. Aliens already here will become full citizens (or slaves depending on the purchase contract). Americans will get an LA the stretches all the way down teh west coast to house all the 15-minute stars that YouTube produces and a lot of vacationing resort. And Mangos. Best of all the Guatamala-US border wall will be much cheaper to build than the current Tancredo proposal.

•New York moves next to Hawaii. I would add that they also become seperate countries, but that would be too much of a loss in tourist revenue. Perhaps they get to make their own laws as long as we get a profit cut.

•Dispose of Nukes into the sun. We all know that nuclear bombs are dangerous, and the sun will eventually burn out. Why not prevent our own demise 2-fold by disposing of nukes and giving the sun a few more hours of fuel. Rocket fuel too much of a risk? Use a solar rocket that, it will just go faster as it gets closer tot he sun.

•All property and income taxes to be paid in pennies, by hand ...personally. In fact all payment shall be made this way. People will be a little more hesitant to splurge. Rich people will get so sick of carrying around huge sacks of coins all the time that they'll gladly hand it over to some able-bodied blue collar workers with mouths to feed.

Did I mention the Free Puppies and iPods?

*Look out, Un-United States of Africa!

Violence

Peopel who belive violence is necessary are only seeing a small part of the picture. If you think about the root of violent act, they usually originate out of the need to take something from someone else. People use force to take others' resources, labors, or whatever. When people say violence is necessary for survival they assume that there isn't enough of something to go around (oil, food, etc). However, most estimates of worldwide resources and production potential exceed the needs of the current population . If supplies were evenly distributed, that is. So basically if we redirected our efforts from fighting and hording towards distribution and greater productivity everyone would be sitting pretty.

Now, the question is what shall be the social mechanism(s) by which to achieve this goal.

Now that's a Show!

Not just cuz it's a lot of people. (a la 40 rappers grunting on stage) They're interesting too. Too bad the song is kinda lame.

Security

You gotta be kiddin me!


And apparently the correct answer is NOT xgxkxswzk. It's getting to the point where the ONLY thing that can read these things are complicated hacking programs. But i guess it's better than the alternative of insane amounts of spam.

Might I note the parallels in the inconvenience/security trade-off of airport security.

Yeah, I know it's 'C' and not a 'G'. I just figured it out now. If anyone else sees a really indecipherable security scramble like this send it too me. I want a collection of this insanity.

Planet Krylon

Let's travel far into the outer reaches of the galaxy. Envision a planet much like our own in many way except for the fact that the people of that planet hold dear the belief in free public expression and it would almost never occur to anyone to restrict such expression. This is planet Krylon, where everyone communicates through graffiti. Oh sure the people can talk and sign and write blocks of text, but they find these modes of communication primitive and limited. They feel free to illustrate all their ideas instead. Whereas , here on Earth we communicate primarily by sending sound through ever ubiquitous atmospheric gases, on Krylon they use whatever surface is available to them to spontaneously paint their ideas. And there is always surface availble.

Be warned, young traveller! Such an illustrious world is no dreamland of artists. Where there is art, there is deception. An Earthling would have a tough time navigating Krylon. Besides the intense visual clutter the perpetually surrounds you, there are those that persistently try to confuse other. For example on any corner there might be ten seemingly identical street signs all with different names. The true sign may have the ability to repel any type of surface pigment or obstruction, but there are no laws banning public sculpture of any kind. The residents of course evolved into very discerning folks indeed and can immediately spot the prevelant knockoffs of anything.

But what of professional artists on this planet. If everyone paints and sculpts constantly is there any place for art for art's sake? "Well", an inhabitant might reply (in coloring of course), "don't you have gifted orators, actors, writers, and poets that transcend the normal use you your own common medium?" Truly, not everyone on Krylon is gifted, but everyone does draw. They just don't stop at grade school. On Krylon chiildren are raised to be articulate in all media.

Ok, and that's when i got tired of writing. About halfway through I just started making it up on the fly, as opposed to the first half of the piece, which were ideas bottled up in my head for over an hour waiting to be solidified. Open to suggestions as to how to end this. See any typos? I'm sure it's chock full. Where are my grammar-maniacs!

Graffiti: What’s it for?

I just saw a couple short documentaries on graffiti. In both artists were posed with questions of why they do it and whether it should be/is legal. They almsot uniiversally cited graffiti as a form of expression that benefits themselves and the onlooker (AKA everyone). To the second question almost none of them questioned the illegality of the act. "it should be illegal. I mean we're putting posters on other people's shit [paraphrase]," commented one unidentified artist. While some even reveled in its status for the thrill-factor. Somehow, these two ideas seem incongruous to me.If this public art is so rewarding to the artists and the community then why should it be illegal, and why not do it through legal channels (as none of the artist did for a majority of their work)?

I think the fundamental aspect of graffiti's allure is as a form of protest. By purposefully breaking the law your action becomes a protest of that law. Most people only do things they personally believe should be allowed. Vandalism of corporate advertisements, especially corporate-sponsored graffiti, in a way rejects the notion that public visual space can only be sold to the highest bitter. It's a statement that the public space belongs to the public at large, not just dollar-powered private entities.

Graffiti culture asserts that evolution of the public space in the new millennium shall operate by survival of the most creative rather survival of the richest. Why should we bow to the elite who write anti-graffiti laws to protects the advertising interests? I say that all public visual art should be legal, and that if people don't want the public facades of their property reface should make that surface so visually enjoyable that no one would feel the need to cover it.

More DVNR Horrors

Tex Avery DVNR Disaster
Video sent by tacos4all

Stalker Doodles!

These are some drawing I did of strangers at an airport on my way home from Rome.

That miserable old couple was so cute, i could barely do them justice. The gentleman's' glasses probably ought to have been emphasized more.

This guy looked as if he hated his entire trip.

Seems that I was subconsciously imposing ponderous lower lips on everyone. Perhaps i was ponderous myself.

Look at these clips

http://www.adultswim.com/shows/pilotweek/

and tell me, do they not all feature the same exact character: a reckless slob that acts completely irresponisibly and occasionally gets stranded in a boat at sea or crashes a car through building facades. Whoever green-lighted/"developed" all 5 of these shows secretly wishes that (s)he were sociopathic.

Colbert Plays DVNR'ed Charlie Brown

For a second i thought, that's weird animation effect to wobbly erase the outlines... than i realized exactly how random the line erasures are. Teh culprit is DVNR again!

DVNR_CB
Uploaded by tacos4all

I ought to make a slo mo version later.