Cheese beats steel!

Cheese beats steel! Go America!

If eyes are windows

If eyes are windows to your soul, then eye sockets are windows to your brain.

doesn't believe in e

doesn't believe in eyeballs at the moment. #eyesocketsareok …#4now

Is that diamond les

Is that diamond less than or greater than two characters long?

I thought 2011 would

I thought 2011 would be the year I'd get 6pack abs, but then we found out the pizzeria around the corner makes #vegan pizza.

Had a weird #citizen

Had a weird #citizenradio dream with @allisonkilkenny & @jamiekilstein action figures. Long story short, I have an idea for a new stickers.

Life hasn't been the

Life hasn't been the same since we ran out of cotton swabs.

Having a dog is like

Having a dog is like having a Roomba… that only works on food.

Hey, remember Napste

Hey, remember Napster?

Ok, now I'll never b

Ok, now I'll never be able to fantasize about Natalie Portman without getting the heeby jeebies. #blackswan

Sometimes I feel bad

Sometimes I feel bad for Myspace, but then I remember how much I dislike Rupert Murdock.

Link to such event h

Link to such event http://htxt.it/YmIt

Hey. Who wants to co

Hey. Who wants to come see Michael Ian Black among other guests for 5 BUCKS mon at Citizen Radio Live @ The UCB?

Fug yuss!!!!

Fug yuss!!!!

OK. Now that All u b

OK. Now that All u billionaires got your #taxcuts I have a few business ideas u can invest in... #p2

@shell7 #overheard @

@shell7 #overheard @brooklynmuseum Norman Rockwell exhibit: This is totally like old school photoshop!

Am I still able to w

Am I still able to walk up to Julian Assange and hand him money, or would George Washington leap off the dollar bill and smack my hand? #wikileaks #p2

New world order: eve

New world order: every gets to see each other naked and read everything you've ever said. #wikileaks #tsa #pornscanners #p2

@marnus3 Here's my c

@marnus3 Here's my compromise: Let's give the unemployment money to the top 2% and the millionaire tax cut money to the unemployed. #p2

Me don't differentia

Me don't differentiate between subject and object pronouns.